guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
