Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize