she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is the high leading the old right now
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
