gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
