I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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