Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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