He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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