I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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