every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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