The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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