I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize