remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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