So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I need moral support for this bender
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
