..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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