p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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