fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
