Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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