There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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