nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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