he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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