so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
