Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
