it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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