Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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