I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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