So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
