Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
