Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize