the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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