And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
