a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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