I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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