We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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