No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
