I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize