Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize