Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
