Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
