Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
