i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
