I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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