:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
