Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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