My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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