SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
