I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
