You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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