PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize