fuck your aforementioned shoe
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
