I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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