You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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