What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
