btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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