i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
