it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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