I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize