i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
