i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
