Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
