You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a search helicopter?!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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