I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
