there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
