we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
