My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize