it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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