Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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