I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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