if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
