O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there's paper in my vomit.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
