I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
that may or may not have been my penis.
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